I was walking home from work yesterday and when I got to the corner, I heard a woman talking and didn't hear a voice answering back. I didn't pay attention too much at first because, well we're in the 21st century. We have cell phones the size of grapes and earpieces that are installed in your head for a nominal $49.99 fee.
However, when I looked, really looked, I saw there was no Bluetooth, BlackBerry, or trendy tech device attached to her ear or hip. There was nothing. This woman was talking to herself.
You've got to love good old fashioned "crazy."
Being my normal compassionate and caring self, I tried to stay as far away from this chick as I could.
She saw me though and she said, "What the hell are you lookin' at you stupid nigger?!"
The woman was black, but it's not like I cared about her race at this point. I just couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth.
Now I had one of two ways I could react to the situation:
A. beat the hell out of a crazy lady and then write a blog about life in a Cook County prison; or
B. breathe deeply, realize this person wasn't in their right mind and move on
After about a minute of debating in my head, I chose the second of both reactions for one reason: There were people watching me -- a group of tourists.
How do I know they were tourists? Well the lady with the headset talking about the Sears Tower and the people wearing fanny packs were pretty much a dead giveaway.
I just imagined what could happen giving in to the temptation and putting that woman in a headlock with my right arm while pummeling her with my left fist (I say I'd use my left fist because that's my strongest).
The impression these people walk away with about Chicago is concerning for me, but most of all I didn't want witnesses to what could be a very physical, LOUD and profane answer back to this loon. I didn't want to seem like a stereotype, I guess -- the neck-rolling, finger-waving black woman.
I'm not ashamed of who I am and I'm not Uncle Tom'ing it up for a group of white tourists. It's just that I didn't want to represent myself in a way I thought someone was expecting. Is that wrong?
However, when I looked, really looked, I saw there was no Bluetooth, BlackBerry, or trendy tech device attached to her ear or hip. There was nothing. This woman was talking to herself.
You've got to love good old fashioned "crazy."
Being my normal compassionate and caring self, I tried to stay as far away from this chick as I could.
She saw me though and she said, "What the hell are you lookin' at you stupid nigger?!"
The woman was black, but it's not like I cared about her race at this point. I just couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth.
Now I had one of two ways I could react to the situation:
A. beat the hell out of a crazy lady and then write a blog about life in a Cook County prison; or
B. breathe deeply, realize this person wasn't in their right mind and move on
After about a minute of debating in my head, I chose the second of both reactions for one reason: There were people watching me -- a group of tourists.
How do I know they were tourists? Well the lady with the headset talking about the Sears Tower and the people wearing fanny packs were pretty much a dead giveaway.
I just imagined what could happen giving in to the temptation and putting that woman in a headlock with my right arm while pummeling her with my left fist (I say I'd use my left fist because that's my strongest).
The impression these people walk away with about Chicago is concerning for me, but most of all I didn't want witnesses to what could be a very physical, LOUD and profane answer back to this loon. I didn't want to seem like a stereotype, I guess -- the neck-rolling, finger-waving black woman.
I'm not ashamed of who I am and I'm not Uncle Tom'ing it up for a group of white tourists. It's just that I didn't want to represent myself in a way I thought someone was expecting. Is that wrong?
Definitely not wrong. I admire you for your restraint. I do not think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut if a racial slur had been hurled at me - no matter who was standing by, or how crazy the hurler. And then, the tourists looking on would have been able to say, "Oh, look at those poor Mexicans - always fighting each other. It's in their blood, you know." :)
ReplyDeleteI can see I am going to get a good laugh reading your blog entries lol. I am very proud of you for keeping your cool in this situation - but at the same time what a horrible and rude thing to say to someone.
ReplyDeleteI think it's sad that people don't have more compassion for the mentally ill. In my mind, there was only one choice to make -- walk away -- as you did.
ReplyDeleteThanks you all for your comments...and yes it took A LOT of restraint ...but it is a fine line to walk to be compassionate but stand up for yourself. I just wonder where this woman's family was?
ReplyDeleteI wonder why the most important thing to you, in this story, seemed to be how you were viewed by tourists, and why it mattered that they were white tourists?
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like you are somehow blaming them for contributing to the situation.
On the one hand you say that you don't want to reinforce any negative stereotypes they have of black americans, yet at the same time you assume these people are bigots-in-waiting.
They have probably seen all the negative stereotypes of black americans in movies, tv, etc, yet have chosen to ignore it and come to the U.S. to experience it's qualities none the less.
Next, I agree with Felicia, my first thought would have been sympathy for a lady who is obviously mentally ill. Punching people who have mental conditions that have impacted their lives to such a great degree, wouldn't have done anything to protect my self-esteem.
I'm glad you reacted by walking away as that seems like the right decision, albeit your motivation for doing so seems wrong.
As for what the white tourists thought of you, they probably saw the situation and thought Chicago has mentally ill people just like their hometown has mentally ill people. And Chicago also has ladies who are able to gracefully walk away from small incidents.
I wasn't really blaming the tourists for anything just stating that we should be aware of our surroundings. I'm honestly happy they were there because it helped me control my reaction. I think I'm just honest enough to outright say I care what people (even strangers) think and to me and how they view me.
ReplyDeleteMy first reaction to the situation I think would be anybody's whether the person is mentally off or no. The first time someone -- anyone -- spouts something so negative to you I think a first reaction, even heated, is justifiable.